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| If G-d decides to, someday, finally endow me with children, I'd like them to be able to say, "Daddy saved Mommy from a man that almost killed her."
If ever we get there someday... | | |
| I don't know how I survived the last three years. I'd been thrown around, kicked, choked, dragged, thrown out of my own home, flung beer at, had my door broken and belongings thrown, and consistently screamed at. I'd been rejected for a traitor friend, only to be stupid enough to take him back, several times, like a stupid dog, after his offenses. I'd been kept from going to school, going to work, and from spending time with my family.
Yet I still feel hurt when I hear Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars."
I know it was one of the worst situations I could put myself in. I knew better, but was too naive to accept it. When I was younger, with Karolyn, I'd urge her to leave a boy that was mistreating her. I couldn't even do that myself. I didn't, for most of that time, have the resources to leave. For awhile I thought he did those because I deserved it from provoking him. In reality, his responses were inappropriate. I'm not a child for him to punish; I am an adult woman, supposed to be his emotional support, not some toy or aggression bag.
All these I have to un-learn. It's NOT justified for a man to scream at you, no matter what the context. I lost those three years, years I could have used to achieve a degree.
He never told me I was beautiful, nor did he ever tell me he loved me (I should never have to consistently initiate it). Instead, he ignored me, insulted me, accused me of things I did not do. When we were living on our own, what little money we even had and instead of trying to stretch what we had, he spent it on alcohol, marijuana, and cigarettes. I still paid when we were out, contradictory to his duty as a man. He would not open the door for me, nor would he offer to carry my things when it looked obvious I was struggling. He criticized me. He wouldn't protect me; when I was insulted by other people, he did nothing to protect my honor. I received no fresh red roses on anniversary days, instead I was shoved aside and/or forgotten. At major operations, he was absent. I was alone in those years. He provided me no comfort, no emotional support.
And now that we have been long over, he harasses me. If he truly loved me, he wouldn't have done the things he did. If he truly cared, he wouldn't say what he says to me; instead he would show that he cared, hoping that my new flame treat me better than he did. A mature, kind man would wish the best for me, not condemn and insult me; wish that he provide for me what he obviously could not.
You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
We leave tonight or live and die this way
I remember we were driving driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone
-Tracy Chapman, "Fast Car" | | |
| TF2 ORGASM!!!!
Woo hoo, my Pyro will finally have his axe-stinguisher!!! <3 (Oh wait, I don't have 360 the way that I used to...awww...so, so sad.)
Got re-infected with Cellulitis again (remember January 2007 when he hit me the first time? yeah, same problem. again.) I don't know how I'm going to afford the other four hospital visits from December 2006 to March 2007, let alone receive treatment for this last infection. It's okay, though, I don't mind slowly dying of complications, I've already died inside. I lived the best life I could. Life without a leg, gangrene, septic shock, all okay.
I finally saw The Nutcracker Prince in its entirety last Tuesday (had not seen since childhood), and my life has been complete. | | |
| Christopher Plummer is one hawt old man. lol
So is Pierce Brosnan, Sean Connery, John Cusack, and Hugh Laurie. Ohhhh, Hugh Laurie. .::drool::. Hugh Laurie will forever be, my Prince Regent! | | |
| Unpretty Factoids about Beauty
Question 1: Ambergris is sometimes used in perfumes for its sweet, earthy aroma. Where does it come from?
Correct answer: Whale vomit
Although typically replaced by a synthetic these days, ambergris actually comes from the digestive by-products of sperm whales. It's a musky aroma!
Question 2: Up until the 19th century, painting the face as white as can be was in high fashion among Europeans. The only problem was ______.
Correct answer: the ingredients caused paralysis, even death
With a mixtures of harsh ingredients like lead oxide and carbonate, no wonder this formulation didn't last long.
Question 3: Simethicone is an ingredient used in the manufacturing process of some cosmetics. What else is it used for?
Correct answer: Gas relief
Yes, gas relief drops get rid of a buildup of gas in the stomach, just as surface tension of air needs to be released in the manufacturing of cosmetics.
Question 4: Ground-up beetles are great for _______.
Correct answer: pigment in lipstick
Cochineal is a dye made from ground-up beetles and is used in red pigments in cosmetics.
Question 5: In the 16th century, women used to put this plant extract in their eyes to make them sparkle, but it was often deadly. What's it called?
Correct answer: Belladonna
Ah, belladonna, it sounds so lovely — but it's not. Italian for "beautiful woman," this poisonous plant was dropped in the eyes to make them sparkle. Ouch! (Technically, it dilated their pupils.)
Question 6: Components of this substance can sometimes be found in common products like cuticle cream, natural toothpastes, and deodorant. What is it?
Correct answer: Dynamite
Ka-boom! Diatomaceous earth, as it's called, is a powder made from the fossilized remains of algae. This ingredient is used in dynamite, and it is also used as a gentle exfoliator in beauty products.
Question 7: For soft and shiny hair, why not try ________?
Correct answer: bull semen
That's right, bull semen has appeared in some hair products for its ability to make the hair shiny. It's also loaded with — you guessed it — protein.
Question 8: The ancient Egyptians lined their eyes with kohl, a mix of fatty matter, soot, and heavy metals. The only problem was ________.
Correct answer: it could cause mental distress
Yep, the Egyptians could have gone crazy and had sleepless nights with this lovely mixture. They also suffered irritability, as I'm sure I would, too! | | |
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